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Thursday, October 25, 2007

unraveled sweater

Well, I don't have much to say right now, obviously. Nothing too insightful. Nothing too deep and leering about my life or events around me. Life is interesting though. you never know what kinds of twists and turns you will take. This last year has been -borrowing the statement from LaRae Roth - "Unbelievable!" Unbelievable in so many different aspects. Unbelievably amazing. Unbelievably sad. Unbelievably frustrating. Unbelievably exciting. Unbelievably inspiring. Unbelievably unbelievable! Its unbelievable how God has been with me through it all.

He knows what we all need. I needed a period of reflection and testing and then growth. I needed direction. I've been floating through life waiting for something to catch up with me. Unfortunately it did.

It was like wearing your favorite bulky, cuddly sweater. Then noticing a piece of yarn is sticking out awkwardly. You quickly try to tuck it in and hide it. I'm painfully self conscious and will spend a lot of time trying to discreetly tuck away loose threads. This thread was not going to be tucked away. So going against my better judgment, I just pulled it, and pulled and pulled, and pulled....

So suddenly this summer I realized that I had completely undone everything. I was naked and there was a whole mess of yarn around me. Figuratively, not literally, don't worry no indecent exposure. I just realized that I needed to focus my life. I had things and stuff scattered everywhere. I had no goals. And I was unbelievably sad. Luckily, some of our selah sisters where there for me. Thank you.

So I've been reflecting on where I've been and where I'm going. I know what I want to do with my life. Trying to focus on rebuilding things that have come unraveled. Only hopefully better and not leaving the loose threads. So during the process of tearing down and rebuilding I've realized that some really incredible things have happened. I don't want to itemize them here. But things are unbelievable. I can't say that things are great. Or even good. But I think that they are going in the right direction. And I know what God has called me to do. :)

Selah.

Hey, and pray for us - the selah sisters. To be a little bold about it: I don't know what's going on, but there is a rift between some of us. I think we have all been in the process of tearing apart and rebuilding, whether we wanted to or not. God has lead us to this place. But we are all feeling a little disconnected with each other. It seems like when we are wrapped up in reflecting and redefining we lose track of those around us. So Pray for us. I think that as individuals and as a group we need it.

a.

1 comment:

heiress said...

Thank you for your warm fuzzy sweater thoughts- it's cold-better start knitting!