Constellations

As the emotions were building up inside, I was struggling to find an exit strategy. Somehow to quickly and painlessly remove myself from the conversation. Every word that I said, though, ensnared me deeper into the argument. Yes, I could just let them win, but I couldn't, not until they understood me. Emotions were cut and oozing - I didn't feel like I could contain myself any longer.

Finally, saved, I burst out into the inky black night. The coldness of the air searing my lungs, freezing the tears to my face. Throwing up my arms, I look to the stars. My lovely stars. And everything fell back into perspective. I was small and my troubles insignificant. As wide as I could stretch out my arms, the night sky was much bigger. and prettier.

The autumns and springs of my life are marked off with the rising and setting of Orion and the filling up and pouring out of the big and little dippers. They felt like my closest friends, seeing all and knowing the secrets that I whispered to them. They centered me.

When I learned about how God set the stars in the sky in the beginning and every night calls them out by name, my heart shown bright with tears. Before I even was, he was tending to the stars so one day they might comfort someone. Guide someone home in the cold darkness. The wind, snow and sleet whirling around can get me confused at where to put me feet. I might trip and fall. But if I'm patient and look up sometimes there is a hole in the clouds and the stars are shining through. And soon the storm will clear.

Rising and setting, they never change. Sometimes my view is obscured, but they are still there. Like God. There are times when we can't see what he is doing, but he is still working.