Beneath the cleansing flood

The following is a dream that I had in May shortly after a friend had passed on. It left quite an impression on me in the weeks afterwards. I've taken quite a while to write it up and its lost some of its vividness... but its still worth sharing
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The brightly colored fabric of the kites twisted in the wind. The sounds of them rippling and popping in the sunshine mixed with the sprays of the ocean waves. Our laughter and joy was strewn across the beach. Feet pushing down into the warm gritty sand.

I look at all the people around me. It was much like church - all happy, many people that I knew well, some that I didn't. There were faces that I expected and that I didn't, but none that I can recall now. They were all fixed upwards towards the sky - full of the bright red, blue, yellow and green kites luminescent with the rays of the midday sun. Each fascinated by their own and they ways that they overlapped with others. Some of us were running down the beach trying to launch, others had theirs out on long strings, watching the looping and soaring captive shape.

I felt warm and loved. I wanted for nothing. But yet I felt a tugging toward the surf. Someone, not missing, but not there. So I ran and dove into the ocean.

I heard an old, old story,
How a Savior came from glory,
How He gave His life on Calvary
To save a wretch like me;
He plunged me to victory,
Beneath the cleansing flood.

As I swum far far out into the sea and below the turmoil of the surf, I didn't know where I was heading, but the pull of something was leading me out beyond. I swam through the opening of a reef, the outside brightly colored by sea anemones, star fish and other creatures. However, through the opening was all white and pearlescent, glowing and there was singing.

Holy, Holy, Holy....

In this place there were many many oysters, all of them open and calling. I recognized the pearls that were floating on there tongues. I could pick out personalities and could recognize characteristics, but I could tell they were fading. Some of them were more familiar than others, like friends recently passed. Others were older memories. Some even I had no recollection of but could pick out inherited traits.

I heard about a mansion
He has built for me in glory.
And I heard about the streets of gold
Beyond the crystal sea;
About the angels singing,
And the old redemption story,
And some sweet day
I'll sing up there
The song of victory.

They were all pleasant. The kind of emotion that is hard to describe when you are used to classifying emotions as happy or sad.... This emotion was more likely completely filled with knowing, no wants or needs, no sadness or malice. Perfect. But not like in a happy I'm smiling ear to ear sort of way. No like a Mona Lisa smile.

I heard about His healing,
Of His cleansing pow'r revealing.
How He made the lame to walk again
And caused the blind to see;

I knew I wanted to be a part of this. I wanted to be a pearl suspended effervescence of the sea. Continuously washed in love. Could I blend in? No not with my bright eyes, pink cheeks, dark hair and human features. How do you become of these?

One of the pearls saw me. It was E. a friend that had recently passed at the time of this dream. She was a new pearl and while she fit in here, not all of her earthly essence had passed. A few other pearls around where other friends that if I concentrated, I could recognize...

"how are you?"

"i found you... i want to stay here... its nice here"

"why?"

"i don't want to be on the land anymore. its crowded, everyone is chasing after the same gust of wind. sometimes our kites get tangled, it's just not worth the hassle. besides, look how wonderful it is here"

"no, its only right that you are chasing after the wind. they need you there. you have to go back. we love you here and are paying attention to what is going on. things are might be difficult, and they will get worse."

"if they are going to get worse, why should i bother?"

"because it was what was meant to happen, its chasing after the wind, but there is a purpose. you have to look within yourself instead of to other people. God is within you. if you feel like the gust is being stifled, you need to push yourselves. go farther, work harder. it will make sense in the end."

"i don't know?"

"this is your lot, this is what you are to do: go back, return to the land, and chase after the wind, do the best you can and go as far as you can - you will be glad you did. it will be worth it, God will bless you. now go, go back before it's too late, chase the wind. Go! Chase the wind!"

He sought me and bought me
With His redeeming blood;
He loved me ere I knew Him
And all my love is due Him

I swam back to the shore, the colors slowly growing brighter and more vivid. I felt renewed, like I had the energy that I didn't have before. My children were around me. I picked up my kite. "follow me, we are going to do this!" I let out just enough string to start to catch the wind. And I turned and ran from the shore to the cliffs above the sea. I broke away from the crowds wishing that they were neither here nor there. Turning my face towards the sunlight, I ran, letting out the kite's string little by little. My family and friends were noting where I was going and slowly following, but I was in the lead. This is what has to be.

Dear God - sometimes I feel like I'm simply chasing after the wind. I feel like I'm working hard for things that will be gone tomorrow. I don't know if the sacrifices that I make are worth it. I sometimes feel like I'm alone away from the crowds and I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. Please remind me that I'm following you. Remind us all that these are the things that we need to do during this life. Once it is over we will not get the opportunity to chase the wind again. If chasing the wind is what we are meant to do, let us do it with determination and vigor. Love, A.